Dog reaches a new low by eating my vinyl

Since Walter the saluki/whippet puppy arrived in our house in October our two tom cats took the huff and moved upstairs where they take their meals and rest after a hard day’s night of loafing around. Naturally the puppy wanted to follow, despite a few feline right-handers being dished out, so we went back to the early 2000s when our kids were little and bought a stair gate. A Berlin Wall separating the bountiful, food-filled downstairs with the silent and austere upstairs. The only trouble is Walter is very, very thin, despite eating his own bodyweight in expensive complete food every day.

And before long he found a way to jimmy himself through the bars and up the stairs to perform his one-dog tribute to the Waterloo Cup – stopping only to hoover up the cats’ food in under three seconds.